Well F@cK.
Little F*ckers
Reader’s, how are you? Me not so hot. I am pissed and I am sad. CT scans did not go as we all had hoped and prayed they would. The little shits did not stop growing. No, they each grew a bit. What does not mean? It means I no longer will be taking the $8,500.00 a month pills and my hair will stop growing in white. I have moved onto regular chemo! Woot! Lucky me! 
The five tumors, one big, four small, are on the outside of my lung. Kinda different but hey, I have always been told I am beat to a different drummer! The big one is the reason for the pain under my right boob, not nerve damage. My lungs look in good shape and my blood work came back good so yeah for that.
Next Thursday I will go into the infusion center and get an hours worth of Doxorybicin Liposmal. Good things about it is that it is only one dose every three weeks. I should not lose my hair. Side effects, are that I may get really hot hands and feet (what is that all about?) and it might make me look tanner. For those who don’t know, I am pale as paste and proud of it but a little tan may not be a bad thing. Of course there is getting tired and nauseous. Hopefully I will not gain the weight I have lose. He thinks since I did so well with the other chemo last year (which is the strongest he gives) that I should not have any huge issues with this one. I will have two infusions before another CT scan to check out how it is working. I just want them to stop growing. I can handle the pain under my boob. I have been in some sort of pain since I was 13 years old. I can deal with it. What I can’t deal with is what it is doing to My Man, The Boy and the rest of my family. It isn’t fair to them.
So what can I say. Well, I did say Fu@k in front of Dr. Read. I don’t think he minded. Oh! To add salt to the wound, yesterday morning I fell walking down my wet steps outside. Jacked my left knee up so bad. I am walking with my granddad old cane. Hurts so bad. I really need a drink and to call this day done.
Be careful out there Reader’s.
Double Fuck
Triple Fuck
I second Pat. You will get through this, I feel better after our talk. I have great faith in Dr. Read. He has a plan. You have always marched to a different drummer but that is ok makes you the strong amazing person ny daughter. Love you lots, lots,lots Momee
I have no words except how sorry I am ! We are keeping the prayers going!
F#@K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nuff said…I’m gonna have a drink for you, and to you…hmmmm I’m feeling pissed now too, for today. Tomorrow IS a new day…you got this, just like everything else that has gone before. Big hugs<3
Big hugs back at you!
This really sucks! I know you will fight the fight, Shay, and make it through this, too. Stay strong and stay the warrior you are.
Dee gave me the shitty news as I walked in the door today. Stay positive. Like I always do.
I am always saying to myself, What would AJ do????
On my ride from Key Largo to Key West I developed a sharp pain in my upper back, then I developed Cycle Palsy (lost the feeling in my fingers and lost the strength in my hands). I had to have help opening the Club Soda for my Bourbon and Soda every night and clipping my finger nails but I adjusted. I managed the problem.
You have a much greater problem but you’ll manage it, you’ll endure the pain and you’ll celebrate the days with no pain then take on the next challenge. So you have to go once a month and take chemo and maybe you throw-up, ache, and won’t want to get out of bed… it will pass and you will recover and maybe after you’ve enjoyed your recovery it’ll start all over again… so be it.
You have love, life, family and friends and you can afford good wine.
DAD
Well said, Kerry, well said
Thanks Dad.
Do you think this has anything to do with me using your tooth brush and giving you mono when we where kids???
Everyday is a gift. It may not be wrapped in the best wrapping paper, but it’s still a gift. Love you and am always thinking of you. Positive energy being sent your way.
Yes, Trent. I believe all this bullshit is your fault. Damn you!
If that gets you healed, I am more than willing to take the blame.
Wow, my cousin said the F-word!
Shay, we talk a lot about “fighting” cancer and I’ve concluded that we only have three weapons at our disposal; modern medicine, our physical and our mental/emotional well-being. You obviously have incorporated all three into your battle plan and I’m confident you will triumph once again.
BTW: despite the grim nature of some of your posts (like the one above) I always get a chuckle from your upbeat attitude. You inspire me.