Guess where I am????

Posted on September 24, 2014 by sghamer

So guess where I am Readers? If you are on Facebook then you already know. I woke up yesterday knowing I wasn’t going to have good meeting with my doctor. I knew there had been some growth. I have been getting short of breath faster and I am been wheezing when I breathed at night. I always noticed it when I was laying down for bed. So when she told be there had been some growth, I wasn’t all that surprised. Crushed but not surprised. We have decided to go back to the chemo I had last summer. It is a very strong chemo, that can have some serious and crazy side effects (remember zombie dreams?). However, I handled it pretty good and the rest of me is in good shape, so we are doing it again.

What surprised me was when she asked me if I wanted to check in…now. Wait? What? Right now? I haven’t packed! My Man informed me he would pack up my stuff. It all happened really fast Readers, as in I barely had to wait to get into my room. She had already reserved a room for me and I got admitted very quickly and was in my room in no time. It is a nice room, nicer then at Emory. By the way, I am at Northside Hospital. I gave birth to The Boy here. I will post pictures of my room when I get back home.

So the tumors have grown, however some have signs of death and decay around the edges and in the center. So, it looks like the old chemo worked a bit but just wasn’t fast enough. There is one tumor that is pretty big which is causing the shortness of breath and the wheezing. Plus the one on my back which just causes me some pain when I lay on it.

In about 2 hours I will start my third round of chemo. Everyone here has been great. The nurses and techs are wonderful. They are so nice and very attentive. The 3rd floor cancer floor is small not as loud or crazy as it was at Emory. Once sucky thing is that The Boy is not allowed to come into my room. No one under 12 is allowed on the main floor. They have a waiting area right when you get off the elevator where we can meet at. So, I haven’t seen him since yesterday morning. We have been able to Facetime which is cool. My Man is staying with him and I am been staying nights by myself. My Man is able to come and work from my hospital room. Plus I have had visitors! Today I had four people come visit and they all brought food! We have planned it out so that My Man will bring The Boy over tomorrow.

Ok Readers, chemo starts soon. I need to get ready! I hope you have a good night. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Keep them coming!

Going back to Bama…

Posted on September 22, 2014 by sghamer

Good Day Readers! How was your weekend? Did you get a lot done, have too much fun, eat too much, watch football, yell at TV every time you saw a certain college football player on the screen? I did ~~all~~ some of that.

Timber Came along for the trip to Bama!

We headed over to Birmingham on Friday to spend the weekend with my parents. Over the past two years it has been the other way around, my parents driving to see me and my family. Yes, it has been about 2 years since I have been back to Bama. Birmingham is only 2 and half hours away, so it is not due to a long drive. As you are all aware, I have been kind of busy the past year and half. I am not sure why it has taken so long for us to get over there. I guess when there was a free weekend where I was feeling half way normal, we just wanted to chill out at home and rest.

Cocktail and snacks on the screened in porch.

We got there in time for cocktail hour! Woot! My mouth sores have settled down so I was actually able to have a cocktail. Don’t worry, there was also snacks. I was actually really hungry which is another thing I jumped onto. I haven’t been hungry all that much so when I am, I eat. So far I have lost 10 pounds and while I am happy about that, my doctors are not.

Pow! Bam!

Nana Pete and Papa had a gift waiting for The Boy when we got there. They weren’t sure if it was too young for The Boy but it turns out that a 4 foot punching bag was just the thing The Boy needed. My Mom thought he could use it whenever he felt upset. The Boy ATTACKED that thing. He wasn’t without it (we named him Hanz) the entire time we were at their house. It is full of two gallons of water so it isn’t light and he would haul that thing in and out of the house, up and down the stars. I had to explain that he would not fit in the car when we went shopping or to dinner and would have to stay at home. he was not happy.

On Saturday we went out and did a little shopping. They had a Athleta store (never been to one, catalog only) at the shopping area we went to called The Summit. I think I could have spent an hour in the store and spend a lot of money. They had super cute jackets that just made me long for Fall. When will it get here!?! In the end I bought a scarf (not for my head) that was super cute. The only sucky part, is that I have to wait to wear it. On Wednesday this week it is supposed to get down in the 50’s in the evening. I just may put it on and sit out on the screened in porch so I can enjoy it! We also went to the bookstore and bought The Boy five books. He has already read two of them. He has turned into a reading machine! I can’t begin to tell you how happy that makes me. After shopping we went back home and watched Alabama play football. RTR.

Yummy!

We went to eat dinner at Hot and Hot Fish Club. We had been there once before and really enjoyed it. It is probably the best restaurant in Birmingham and the chef is a James Beard winner.

So tasty

Best thing I ate all night.

Donuts

So good!

My parents have three guest rooms. One that is my old room which is where My Man and I sleep. So that leaves two beds for The Boy to choose from to sleep in. Instead the chose on the floor in our room.

Snuggle buddies

Overall it was a very nice trip. We laughed, we cried, we talked, we ate good food and drank yummy wine. Good times. I hope you all had just as nice weekend.

I will be going to the doctor tomorrow to find out how my scans went. I am very scared Readers. Very scared. If you pray, please pray for me. If you send good vibes, please send them my way. I know if things don’t go the way we want there is still the chemo I had last summer that worked to fall back on. I really hope we don’t have to go there, the impact on The Boy is something I don’t want to even think about. But if we do, we do. I won’t stop fighting.

No Growth!

Posted on September 17, 2014 by sghamer

I remember what it use to look like.

What a morning Readers! I woke up after a not so great nights sleep and went into The Boy’s room to wake him up and get him ready for school. OMG. What a mess I found!

He sleeps in there

All cabinet doors open, clean/dirty clothes all over the room, books and toys on the floor, closet stuffed with damp towels and dirty clothes. I lost it. Just lost it. How many times this week have I told him to clean his room? How many times have I told him not to put wet towels on the floor? How many times Readers!!?? So mad. So stressed. The words I have read in my new book about talking to your children left my mind and I lost it. The authors of the book would be shaking their heads at me. He told me maybe I shouldn’t come into his room. What?! I informed him that it was not his room. It was his father and I’s room and we let him use it. And since we do that, he is in charge of keeping it clean.

After the yelling some more at him and hitting the Damit Doll, I took a deep breath and informed The Boy that he was not allowed in my room for “snuggle time” unless his room and closet were clean.

Snuggle Time is when he gets to come in with me while I lay down, get under the covers and watch home improvement or cooking shows with me at night. He loves this time. He is always asking me when we can go up to my room for snuggle time. It is good mom and son time.

So when I told him that he was like “WHAT?” He was very upset. There were tears. He asked what he was going to do. Clean the dam room.

My Man thought it was a very good punishment and it might actually work. Cross your fingers Readers. Cross your fingers.

Doctor Visit

New Pain Killers

I was able to meet with Dr. D. yesterday when I went into get my labs drawn. They said she wanted to meet with me and check how I was doing. How cool was that? I didn’t even have to wait. Shocking! We discussed my pain management and some changes in dosage. Next we reviewed my lab report. (FYI at Emory it would have taken an at least an hour to get the report, here it took 10 minutes). Every thing looked good but they are watching my hemoglobin. Mine is a 9.2 and if it drops under 8 they will want to do a blood transfusion. Ok, Readers here is my problem. I asked her if there was anything I could do to help get that number up. I just can not not do something. She told me to eat a steak. A steak? I don’t eat steak. She asked if it was because I didn’t like the taste. No, I like it, I have just stopped eating it. She then mentioned leafy greens, kale, spinach, broccoli. Yeah, I eat a lot of that already. I drank a bottle of that (cold pressed juice) before I had went in to get my blood drawn! Plus I had a spinach salad at dinner the night before. Just how much must I eat for it to actually help?

I had stopped eating red meat because everything I read told me it wasn’t good for you especially when it comes to cancer. However, it is the best (easiest/fastest) way to get iron in your system? We discussed iron pills and those are off the table. Some research shows they had a negative impact on the chemo, so doctors have stopped suggesting them.

From WebMD

To boost the amount of iron in your diet, try these foods:

Red meat
Egg yolks
Dark, leafy greens (spinach, collards)
Dried fruit (prunes, raisins)
Iron-enriched cereals and grains (check the labels)
Mollusks (oysters, clams, scallops)
Turkey or chicken giblets
Beans, lentils, chick peas and soybeans
Liver
Artichokes

And here’s a tip: If you eat iron-rich foods along with foods that provide plenty of vitamin C, your body can better absorb the iron.

So Readers, what do I do? Should I start eating spinach salads every day, juice even more, have steamed broccoli and beans (which I do already) for my side at dinner every night or just eat a steak once a week (wow, that sounds like a lot)? I eat 5 items on the list on a regular basis already. I do not want to have a blood transfusion. Suggestions please.

The shots.

She did say I could stop taking my shots. Woot! Woot! For the past six days my man has been having to give me shots in the evening. I can’t begin to imagine how hard it is for him. I can’t do it myself so it fell to him. I get the injections in my stomach where there is extra “cushion” aka my muffin top. My Man was happy to hear we were done for awhile.

I left the meeting with her feeling pretty good. She thinks I am doing well. She feels that my CT scan on Friday will go well. I sure hope she is right because I am scared shitless right now. I can’t stop thinking abut that dam scan. I would be thrilled/over the moon, if there is no change. No f-ing change. They don’t have to shrink yet, just no growth. NO GROWTH! Say it with me Readers!! No Growth!

How do you talk to your kid?

Posted on September 12, 2014 by sghamer

Me & The Boy

Happy Friday Readers! Are you not so happy that it is Friday? I am. It has been a roller coaster of a week. Between chemo, how I am feeling, homework, tests, The Boy’s feelings and the crying that I am ready to chill out. Oh the crying! I am drained Readers. Drained. It has been an emotional week for the The Boy and I. Yesterday he admitted to me that sometimes he was angry/mad at me for being sick and that is why he lashes out at me. What do you say to that? Well, I had and idea what to say thanks to my conversation with my friend Judi R. on Wednesday.

She told me about a book called How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk and suggested the I take a look at it. Well, I am glad I did. I downloaded a sample and what I was able to read was perfect in helping me reply to his comment. I told him that I too was mad and angry at myself. That I don’t understand why tis was happening to me and if there was anything I could have done to stop or fix it. I told him I too got scared, sad, angry, upset, felt guilty and that it was all ok. It was normal to feel that way and he had every reason to. We sat up at the chicken coop/fire pit area and just talked about how we were both feeling. There were tears and hugs and questions and listening. But the thing is, even how great it was to have this conversation with him was (and I think it helped), I should not be having this conversation with my 9-year-old son.

Whatcha Watching?

Outlander on Starz

Follows the story of Claire Randall, a married combat nurse from 1945 who is mysteriously swept back in time to 1743, where she is immediately thrown into an unknown world where her life is threatened. When she is forced to marry Jamie Fraser, a chivalrous and romantic young Scottish warrior, a passionate relationship is ignited that tears Claire’s heart between two vastly different men in two irreconcilable lives.

I have been aware of the Outlander series of books for a while now and to be honest, was not interested in reading them. A few months ago I started seeing ads on TV but I have never really watched anything on Starz (did I even get the channel). Well about a week ago my friend Heidi A. suggested I take a look at the first episode that they were showing for free. I had the time and thought what the heck, I would give it a try. Well, turns out that I do get Starz and I was hooked! It is a pretty good show. Now, I have heard from two people who have read the first book (which the first series is based on) that the show is better than the book. When does that ever happen?! Have any of you read the books? Are you watching the show? What do you think?

Pro’s- The setting is beautiful. The accents are beautiful. The story is very interesting, not to hooky yet. Strong female character, I like Claire. She is tough and stand up for herself. I do wonder if she is a little to strong since she is not from 2014 but from 1945 when woman still were expected to act a certain way. There are some very nice looking men, Jaime, one of the male leads is nice to watch.

Con’s- The accents are hard to understand. For some reason I think if I turn the volume up louder, it will help but it doesn’t. My friend Heidi watches some of the shows over again to try to catch things she missed the first time around. In fact she thought one of the leads accent was a bit over the top only to learn he really is from Scotland. There are some really ugly, dirty, bad teeth looking people in the show. It was a dirty, smelly time. The last episode was 1/2 in Gaelic. That was hard because I don’t speak that. What the hell is going on?

The show airs on Saturday but if you have the On Demand feature (OMG, I love it! I know kinda late to the game) you can catch up pretty quickly. That is what I did after watching the first show. Heidi and I think they are going to air two more shows and then take a break and play the rest in 2015. I hate when they split the season up like that. I am hooked, you don’t need to try to hook me! Just make more shows!

Whatcha Reading?

I am reading three books right now. A Year Without Sugar, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk and The King’s Curse. As I have shared before I also listen to audio books via Audible.com. I haven’t been listening to anything for awhile and have 5 credits and a $10 coupon to use. My Man and I are big Agatha Christie fans, we watch all the shows on PBS when they come on. Years ago I read all of her Miss Marple books and have decided that I will listen/read all of her Hercule Poirot books. The first one is The Mysterious Affair at Styles.

Plans for the weekend Readers? None here and I am good with that. Well, maybe some cleaning. I would love to go through out glasses, coffee cups, mugs, wine glasses and clean it up some. The cabinet is full!! I hope whatever it is you end up doing you have fun!

RTR! GO SPARTY! RISE UP!

Oh Boy, The Boy…

Posted on September 9, 2014 by sghamer

Monday Morning

Readers! How are you? How was your weekend? Did you have good weather? Get a lot of chores done, watch Football? Oh’ com on, who didn’t watch football! Rise Up ATL! That game had My Man and I out of our chairs. I could stop moving I was freaking out so much. It was a crazy good game.

I had another good day yesterday until I got a call from The Boys teacher. Turns out The Boy hasn’t been doing everything he was supposed to be doing and a lot of what he isn’t supposed to be doing. One being not treating his teacher the way he should be. This is a big deal to me. Respect to adults, to everyone, is very important and stressed here at Hotel Yorba. Then there is a binder that should have been coming home full of all of his work and study materials for the past two weeks that has yet to show up. Even after being told five times by his teacher to bring it home, it sat on his desk last night.

The Boys life will be radically changing here at home. Electronics, TV, Video games all gone. A lot more reading and studying. Speaking of studying, how does one teach you child to study? How do you teach them to want to study? He is having a test on Native Americans today that we have been reviewing for the past few days. Does he know it? He got an A on the quiz but a C on class work. He also has a spelling test on Friday. It would be nice to have the words to study but those have been “lost”. To say I am frustrated with The Boy would be an understatement. However, know what is causing 90% of issues and that is me and my illness. I can’t tell you how many times a day he asks how I am feeling. Or last night how many times he told me I was so pretty even though I had to shave the rest of the fuzz off of my head.

If some of you have older children, any advice? I am going to e-mail the school councilor (might as well have my tax dollars be put to work) and see if he can start meeting with her. Maybe he will talk to her about what is going on and how he is feeling. Sometimes you just need a 3rd party to speak with.

Round 2 Part 2

Mom

My Mom and Dad came into town so that my Mom could come to my treatment with me today. It was a long day. There were issues with my port, the computers were down, the pump wasn’t working and the tubbing didn’t fit. I didn’t sleep all that great night before so I was and still am pretty tired. I tired to sleep but it is hard when you are woken up every 15 min to have my vitals taken. Sucks! But other than that that my numbers looked pretty good. There was woman next to me who numbers did not look good and had to be checked into the hospital! Pickles. The poor thing. She looked ok tome but I guess that is why there is no DR. in front of my name.

I am hoping you are all having a good day. I hope The Boy comes home with his binder and a good report. Let’s hope we can get him on the right track. Be Good! Be Kind!

Say goodbye…

Posted on September 5, 2014 by sghamer

…and there it goes…

Look at those roots!

Maybe I will stop here.

All gone…almost.

Readers, my hair is gone…well almost. I have some fuzz left. Yesterday while I was in the shower washing my hair a small clump came out and I was freaked out. I knew that I was going to have to shave it because I did not want to have that happen again. No waking up with my hair all over my pillow. That would be too much. I will probably use a razor this weekend to get the rest. That picture will not be posted. You wouldn’t think that a little fuzz would make such a difference but it does. Shaving it wasn’t as big deal this time however, it still sucked. My hair was so soft! Hopefully when it grows back, it will be just as soft. Who knows what it will look like next time.

So soft.

Me and Simon rest in on the couch.

Such a good boy.

Shout Out

By Eve Schaub

Panny can’t wait to try them!

Stephen and Eve S.- Thank you so much for the syrup and maple cream. Since they live in Vermont I know they will taste great! I can’t wait to try them both this weekend. I am very excited to read Eve’s book. She has been on the Dr. Oz Show and Fox News to name a few shows and has been interviewed my countless of newspapers and magazines. Their whole family went an entire year without any sugar! I can’t even begin to think how hard it was…I will know soon though. If you are interested in lowering your sugar intake or stopping all together, take a look at her book. From what I have seen, read and heard, it is a great read.

Whatcha Reading?

Right now I am on a historical fiction kick. I am reading The White Princess by Philipa Gregory. I also read The Kingsmaker’s Daughter. I have read many of her books in the past that focused on the Tutor Royal Family aka Henry VIII. I like her books. I know there is a lot of fiction in these stories but they are somewhat educational. They have taught me that being King or Queen or a woman back then kinda sucked. You could trust no one if you are the King because everyone wants you dead and your job. Being a woman just sucked. You are property of your husband and your father before that. If they could only see us now.

The book that kicked off my historical fiction kick was Bittersweet by Colleen McCullough. It takes place in the 1920’s-30’s in Australia and it about two sets of twin female siblings. So four sisters growing up after WWI and the different paths they each take. It was good but I am not sure if the characters are anything like the women of the the time. These women were written as very strong, outgoing, outspoken women and I am just not sure if the women back then were like any of the sisters. Falling in love in one day? Getting married a week later? Telling your husband you are leaving him to live with another man? Telling a man off in public? Marry a gay man so he will fund your medical education? Sure things like that happen now but in the ’20s? I am not sure. Oh! and their father is a man of the Church so, I am just not buying it. That being said, I would recommend it. If anyone reads it or has read it, let me know what you think.

I also read Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty (I wrote about it before). I think I have read all her books to date and this one did not disappoint. It takes place in Australia present day. It focuses on three women and a death/murder in the town, so there is a little mystery. Read it.

Readers, thank you for all the writing suggestions. I will keep them in mind as I think of topics to write about. Have a wonderful Friday! Be Good and Be Safe!

Hair today, gone in a few…

Posted on September 3, 2014 by sghamer

Well, shit.

Good Day Readers! It has been a few days. I hope they have been good ones for you. I have been riding the roller coaster that is now my life. I have good days, I have bad days. I have energy, I can barely get out of bed. I have a full head of hair, my hair is getting thinner and thinner. I think the razor will be coming out of hibernation later this week. I knew this was coming so it is no surprise but still kinds sucks. At least this time, since it is so short, it won’t take as long.

Pickles

Yesterday was Round 2 Part 1 for me. I went in had my blood drawn and port accessed. We then met with Dr. D. They said my numbers look really good. That horrible shot got my bone marrow back up and my white and red blood count went up. They are very happy with the way my body recovered from the first round. Good news. We did find out that the bump on my back that is sore and hurts is probably one of the tumors. Wonderful. She did say that if doesn’t shrink all the way, that later they can zap it with radiation. Which is good. Cause it hurts. The main problem is its location. Right under the bra strap. Couldn’t be in a worse place. The strap rubs up against it all day. I hate wearing a bra! So painful!

The infusion center was could and packed. There was no room for My Man to sit so he was stuck in the lobby. That sucked. Luckily I was only in there for about an hour. Right now I am feeling ok although I feel a nap in my future. They said it should be day three before I start to really feel bad. Yeah! Great way to start my weekend!

Shout Outs

Tia B.- LOVE the peanut butter!! it is so good. The Boy loves the chocolate peanut butter the best and I have to admit, he is right. Thank you so much for thinking of us!!

Bob H.- Thank you do much for The Majestic sign! How cool is that!? It is going to look fantastic on the coop. My Man and I will be hanging it up this weekend. I know The Girls are going to love it. Felix too!

Poppy

Speaking of The Majestic and The Girls, Poppy is hasn’t been her self lately. She has always been smaller than Turbo (she is a chucky one) but she feels even lighter now when I pick her up. She is in the middle of molting (growing new feathers) and is showing all the signs that she is broody except for sitting on top of the eggs her mates lay. She isn’t eating as much as the others and seems like she is stoned. I am not kidding. They tend to get that way when they are broody but usually if you pick them up, they will snap out of it. Not Poppy. She has been sitting on my lap and lets me pet her, which she has never done before. We are not sure how old she is since we bought as an adult hen. Cross your fingers she will snap out of her funk and go back to her regular self.

Terry Pete

Zazzles

Terry Pete and Zazzles are doing great. They have grown so much and are laying 4 to 5 eggs a week. The eggs are smaller than Turbo’s and one hasa pink look to it while the other is more tan/brown. Plus at night, they roost up in the coop all by themselves, while the other two are in the nesting boxes pooping them all up! Such a proud chicken Mama I am (of the roosters, not the poopers).

It is going to be a hot and rainy day here in the ATL. If you have any suggestions on what you want me to write more about, let me know. I don’t want write about my condition all the time, it gets old!! I am so over it!

Be Good and Be Safe Readers!

My Hotel Yorba

Take the wife of The Man, mom of The Boy and a H.C.B., a decade with cancer and see what happens.

Tag Archives: Cancer

Guess where I am????

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Going back to Bama…

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No Growth!

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How do you talk to your kid?

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Oh Boy, The Boy…

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Say goodbye…

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Hair today, gone in a few…

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