Well F@cK.
Little F*ckers
Reader’s, how are you? Me not so hot. I am pissed and I am sad. CT scans did not go as we all had hoped and prayed they would. The little shits did not stop growing. No, they each grew a bit. What does not mean? It means I no longer will be taking the $8,500.00 a month pills and my hair will stop growing in white. I have moved onto regular chemo! Woot! Lucky me! 
The five tumors, one big, four small, are on the outside of my lung. Kinda different but hey, I have always been told I am beat to a different drummer! The big one is the reason for the pain under my right boob, not nerve damage. My lungs look in good shape and my blood work came back good so yeah for that.
Next Thursday I will go into the infusion center and get an hours worth of Doxorybicin Liposmal. Good things about it is that it is only one dose every three weeks. I should not lose my hair. Side effects, are that I may get really hot hands and feet (what is that all about?) and it might make me look tanner. For those who don’t know, I am pale as paste and proud of it but a little tan may not be a bad thing. Of course there is getting tired and nauseous. Hopefully I will not gain the weight I have lose. He thinks since I did so well with the other chemo last year (which is the strongest he gives) that I should not have any huge issues with this one. I will have two infusions before another CT scan to check out how it is working. I just want them to stop growing. I can handle the pain under my boob. I have been in some sort of pain since I was 13 years old. I can deal with it. What I can’t deal with is what it is doing to My Man, The Boy and the rest of my family. It isn’t fair to them.
So what can I say. Well, I did say Fu@k in front of Dr. Read. I don’t think he minded. Oh! To add salt to the wound, yesterday morning I fell walking down my wet steps outside. Jacked my left knee up so bad. I am walking with my granddad old cane. Hurts so bad. I really need a drink and to call this day done.
Be careful out there Reader’s.
