Category Archives: The pain in my ass little c

Hallucinating fish…

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So, how am I supposed to come up with a blog post after the Happy Anniversary post My Man wrote. I can’t even think of it without starting to cry, let alone try to read it again. How sweet was it?! OMG! He shocked the hell out of me with that post. He. Is. The Best.

Readers, it has been a crazy couple of days since I got back home from the hospital. It was wonderful to come home on Saturday and to see The Boy, Timber, Panny and Simon. I missed them all so much. I did not have the strength to go up and see the girls. Sunday we just layer around and watched football. The Boy stayed snuggled up close to me most of the day. Towards the evening my back started to hurt and it just got worse. By Monday I was a mess. Really? My back? Ugh. As I write I still have some issues with it. I would say I am back to 85%.

Welcome!

Welcome!

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My home for the next five days.

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Goodie bag,

Monday was a mess. I could hardly walk and had a very hard time finding a comfortable position to lay/sit in. And I was so weak. We are talking about heavy breathing after using the restroom! I couldn’t catch my breath for the life of me. I took my pain pills and tried the heating pad. My assistant told me she puts ice on her back so I thought I would give it a try. Felt pretty nice! I think I will stick with ice.

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Other than my back, I have been ok. I have nausea, it a lot worse this time then last summer. I think that this is because I was given a bigger and stronger dosage. I just feel really weak. I have a some night sweats, and a few crazy dreams. No zombie ones yet. I do think I hallucinated while I was in the hospital the last night I was there. The floor in the bathroom was moving. Looked like the pattern turned into the bottom of  the ocean with moving fish!

Thank You Amy!

Thank You Amy!

Visitors!

Visitors!

Hi.

Hi.

Shout Outs!

Calanit H.- Thank you for your visits at the hospital and the magazines!

Rebecca, Amy & Tommy- Thank you for your visits, magazines, lunch and deserts!

Jennifer P.- Thank you for coming to visit me and for watching The Boy for My Man and I. You are wonderful!

Brooklyn Cafe- We have been going to the Brooklyn Cafe for dinner and lunch for years now. The are a local restaurant here in Sandy Springs. We have become friends with Jeff (owner) and the whole staff. They found out that I was in the hospital and came over on Saturday with a dinner which included a grilled artichoke, two steak salads, key lime pie and wine. How nice!! The salad and artichoke were so yummy. We didn’t drink the wine. Going to wait will we can enjoy it.

So Awsome!! Thanks Pat!!

So awesome!! Thanks Pat!!

Pat H.- It is so cool! Thank you Pat! What a wonderful anniversary gift. I can’t wait to start a fire, lie on the couch and watch some Sparty football! There will be fights over this one.

I am hoping to feel better tomorrow and then even better on Friday. This weekend is 24 Hours of Booty!! We got a tent and I am mentally packing (BTW-mentally packing is much easier than packing). If you still want to donate you can! Good night Readers!

 

Four Down, Three to Go…

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Happy Thursday Readers! It is almost Friday! Woot! Woot! Even though I am in the hospital, I am excited it is almost Friday. It means I will be one day closer to getting home. I am due for my 5th cycle of chemo tonight. I will have two more cycles to go through for a total of seven, one more than last summer. Dr. D. is going hard-core which is fine by me. I can take anything they can dish out.

I got a better nights sleep last night. No blood transfusion to keep me up. I slept from 12:30 to 4am and then from 4:30am to 8:15am. My Man came in shortly afterwards with coffee and breakfast. He is so sweet. I was able to make my conference call although I was a bit late since they were setting up my chemo. Afterwards I hit a wall and passed out. I slept through my friend, Calanit who came down to visit me! Boo! But I was tired and you got to get the sleep when you can get it.

Later my friend Jennifer P., who has been a saving grace, came to see me. She has been picking up The Boy and having him over after school since Tuesday. He even had his guitar practice there. It’s a good thing our boys have the same teacher and on the same day. She has just been so great to us.

Guess who I just saw?!? The Boy! My Man picked him up and brought him for a visit. We had to meet in the family waiting room. It was full of a few families but we had space. I miss him and being with by boys and the fur kids. I miss my bed. He seems to be ok, kinda sad but ok. He, like me, are hoping that I get to go home on Saturday. Then I will have three weeks of normalcy. i will still have to go in once a week for labs but I think I can handle that.

There is a chance, a chance that if I do well that I may be able to do my need treatment out-patient. For seven days I would go into the hospital for three hours for my chemo. Then I would wear a purse like think what would have my mesna and fluids in it that I would be hooked up to. This way I could go home!! How awesome would that be? Let’s keep our fingers crossed.

So Dr. D. just came in and sat down with me for 25 minutes to talk. Told me the difference in sarcoma vs breast or lung cancer. Talked about genetic testing. How I was feeling. Anything and everything! Wow. It is almost 9pm and she was in no rush.

Have a Happy Friday Readers!

Guess where I am????

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So guess where I am Readers? If you are on Facebook then you already know. I woke up yesterday knowing I wasn’t going to have good meeting with my doctor. I knew there had been some growth. I have been getting short of breath faster and I am been wheezing when I breathed at night. I always noticed it when I was laying down for bed. So when she told be there had been some growth, I wasn’t all that surprised. Crushed but not surprised. We have decided to go back to the chemo I had last summer. It is a very strong chemo, that can have some serious and crazy side effects (remember zombie dreams?). However, I handled it pretty good and the rest of me is in good shape, so we are doing it again.

What surprised me was when she asked me if I wanted to check in…now. Wait? What? Right now? I haven’t packed! My Man informed me he would pack up my stuff. It all happened really fast Readers, as in I barely had to wait to get into my room. She had already reserved a room for me and I got admitted very quickly and was in my room in no time. It is a nice room, nicer then at Emory. By the way, I am at Northside Hospital. I gave birth to The Boy here. I will post pictures of my room when I get back home.

So the tumors have grown, however some have signs of death and decay around the edges and in the center. So, it looks like the old chemo worked a bit but just wasn’t fast enough. There is one tumor that is pretty big which is causing the shortness of breath and the wheezing. Plus the one on my back which just causes me some pain when I lay on it.

In about 2 hours I will start my third round of chemo. Everyone here has been great. The nurses and techs are wonderful. They are so nice and very attentive. The 3rd floor cancer floor is small not as loud or crazy as it was at Emory. Once sucky thing is that The Boy is not allowed to come into my room.  No one under 12 is allowed on the main floor. They have a waiting area right when you get off the elevator where we can meet at. So, I haven’t seen him since yesterday morning. We have been able to Facetime which is cool. My Man is staying with him and I am been staying nights by myself. My Man is able to come and work from my hospital room. Plus I have had visitors! Today I had four people come visit and they all brought food! We have planned it out so that My Man will bring The Boy over tomorrow.

Ok Readers, chemo starts soon. I need to get ready! I hope you have a good night. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Keep them coming!

No Growth!

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I remember what it use to look like.

I remember what it use to look like.

What a morning Readers! I woke up after a not so great nights sleep and went into The Boy’s room to wake him up and get him ready for school. OMG. What a mess I found!

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He sleeps in there

He sleeps in there

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All cabinet doors open, clean/dirty clothes all over the room, books and toys on the floor, closet stuffed with damp towels and dirty clothes. I lost it. Just lost it. How many times this week have I told him to clean his room? How many times have I told him not to put wet towels on the floor? How many times Readers!!?? So mad. So stressed. The words I have read in my new book about talking to your children left my mind and I lost it. The authors of the book would be shaking their heads at me. He told me maybe I shouldn’t come into his room. What?! I informed him that it was not his room. It was his father and I’s room and we let him use it. And since we do that, he is in charge of keeping it clean.

After the yelling some more at him and hitting the Damit Doll, I took a deep breath and informed The Boy that he was not allowed in my room for “snuggle time” unless his room and closet were clean.

Snuggle Time is when he gets to come in with me while I lay down, get under the covers and watch home improvement or cooking shows with me at night. He loves this time. He is always asking me when we can go up to my room for snuggle time. It is good mom and son time.

So when I told him that he was like “WHAT?”  He was very upset. There were tears. He asked what he was going to do. Clean the dam room.

My Man thought it was a very good punishment and it might actually work. Cross your fingers Readers. Cross your fingers.

 

Doctor Visit

New Pain Killers

New Pain Killers

I was able to meet with Dr. D. yesterday when I went into get my labs drawn. They said she wanted to meet with me and check how I was doing. How cool was that? I didn’t even have to wait. Shocking! We discussed my pain management and some changes in dosage. Next we reviewed my lab report. (FYI at Emory it would have taken an at least an hour to get the report, here it took 10 minutes). Every thing looked good but they are watching my hemoglobin. Mine is a 9.2 and if it drops under 8 they will want to do a blood transfusion. Ok, Readers here is my problem. I asked her if there was anything I could do to help get that number up. I just can not not do something. She told me to eat a steak. A steak? I don’t eat steak. She asked if it was because I didn’t like the taste. No, I like it, I have just stopped eating it. She then mentioned leafy greens, kale, spinach, broccoli. Yeah, I eat a lot of that already. I drank a bottle of that (cold pressed juice) before I had went in to get my blood drawn! Plus I had a spinach salad at dinner the night before. Just how much must I eat for it to actually help?

I had stopped eating red meat because everything I read told me it wasn’t good for you especially when it comes to cancer. However, it is the best (easiest/fastest) way to get iron in your system? We discussed iron pills and those are off the table. Some research shows they had a negative impact on the chemo, so doctors have stopped suggesting them.

From WebMD

To boost the amount of iron in your diet, try these foods:

  • Red meat
  • Egg yolks
  • Dark, leafy greens (spinach, collards)
  • Dried fruit (prunes, raisins)
  • Iron-enriched cereals and grains (check the labels)
  • Mollusks (oysters, clams, scallops)
  • Turkey or chicken giblets
  • Beans, lentils, chick peas and soybeans
  • Liver
  • Artichokes

And here’s a tip: If you eat iron-rich foods along with foods that provide plenty of vitamin C, your body can better absorb the iron.

So Readers, what do I do? Should I start eating spinach salads every day, juice even more, have steamed broccoli and beans (which I do already) for my side at dinner every night or just eat a steak once a week (wow, that sounds like a lot)? I eat 5 items on the list on a regular basis already. I do not want to have a blood transfusion. Suggestions please.

The shots.

The shots.

She did say I could stop taking my shots. Woot! Woot! For the past six days my man has been having to give me shots in the evening. I can’t begin to imagine how hard it is for him. I can’t do it myself so it fell to him. I get the injections in my stomach where there is extra “cushion” aka my muffin top. My Man was happy to hear we were done for awhile.

I left the meeting with her feeling pretty good. She thinks I am doing well. She feels that my CT scan on Friday will go well. I sure hope she is right because I am scared shitless right now. I can’t stop thinking abut that dam scan. I would be thrilled/over the moon, if there is no change. No f-ing change. They don’t have to shrink yet, just no growth. NO GROWTH! Say it with me Readers!! No Growth!

 

 

In the news…

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Readers! Below is the link to the article that was written by Jackie Tyson in regards to me and Team Hotel Yorba raising money for the 24 Hours of Booty race in October. How cool is that!?! Pretty cool if you ask me!

Team Hotel Yorba Captain 10-year Survivor, Amputee Pedals to Put Cancer in its Place

There is also a chance it may be printed in a local Sandy Springs newspaper.  If so I will make sure to take some pictures and show you guys! Ha! How crazy!

My Man, The Boy and a rabbit.

My Man, The Boy and a rabbit.

Last night The Boys and I got all dressed up (nice shirts at least) and went to dinner at The King and Duke. We really needed to get out and have a fun dinner as a family. It had been a rough week for all of us and we need to spend some quality time with each other. We had to drive through terrible rainstorms and flooded streets to get down to Buckhead where the restaurant is located. It is crazy how much those people pay in property taxes (we are taking $10K-20K here people) and their streets flood at a drop of rain. The Boy was freaking out, the flooding was so bad. His class has been learning about floods and scary weather at school and at one point he was like “Turn Around!” We stayed the course and had a yummy dinner. Glad we were not in a tiny sports car.

Turns out The Boy is a big shellfish fan, he ate half of my dinner. Next time we are skipping the fancy burger and he and I will just share. The Boy did not have any iPad or iTouch with him so we all had to talk to each other. NO! Yep, it’s true. We did. And we had fun time too.

Me and The Boy

Me and The Boy

Working Hard

Working Hard

It was supposed to rain here all day today but the sun came out along with the humidity. Last week when my dad was in town he bought six bags of mulch for me. There is a yet another part of our backyard that the trees have grown over and no grass or moss will grow. the area and trees are really pretty but the dirt pile and trail with all the roots showing is not. So me and The Boy ripped into the six bags and started laying it out.

Does not cover much.

Does not cover much.

We soon discovered that six bags does not cover much ground. Looks like I will need to get at least another 25 bags to cover the area and small trail. It has been a week since Poopy passed away and Turbo seems to be doing ok. She is getting along with the other two hens and I think they still look at her as the head hen. She has been roosting more on the outside roosting bar which is nice to see.

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The Boy and I checked on her last night hoping to find her roosting with Terry Pete and Zazzles for bed but she was in the nesting box. I ended up putting her up on the bar to roost. I am hoping if I do this enough times she will catch on and do it on her own. Since it is so sticky and gross out today I thought they would like some cool watermelon to snack on. They seemed to enjoy it.

Yummy!

Yummy!

Kitty Cam-Petting Panny

Kitty Cam-Petting Panny

The rest of the day was all about watching football and napping. My body is tired and sore and after a big day of racing around Friday I needed the extra sleep. I hope you all have a nice weekend. Be Safe! Be Sassy!

How do you talk to your kid?

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Me & The Boy

Me & The Boy

Happy Friday Readers! Are you not so happy that it is Friday? I am. It has been a roller coaster of a week. Between chemo, how I am feeling, homework, tests, The Boy’s feelings and the crying that I am ready to chill out. Oh the crying! I am drained Readers. Drained. It has been an emotional week for the The Boy and I. Yesterday he admitted to me that sometimes he was angry/mad at me for being sick and that is why he lashes out at me. What do you say to that? Well, I had and idea what to say thanks to my conversation with my friend Judi R. on Wednesday.

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She told me about a book called How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk and suggested the I take a look at it. Well, I am glad I did. I downloaded a sample and what I was able to read was perfect in helping me reply to his comment. I told him that I too was mad and angry at myself. That I don’t understand why tis was happening to me and if there was anything I could have done to stop or fix it. I told him I too got scared, sad, angry, upset, felt guilty and that it was all ok. It was normal to feel that way and he had every reason to. We sat up at the chicken coop/fire pit area and just talked about how we were both feeling. There were tears and hugs and questions and listening. But the thing is, even how great it was to have this conversation with him was (and I think it helped), I should not be having this conversation with my 9-year-old son.

Whatcha Watching?

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Outlander on Starz

Follows the story of Claire Randall, a married combat nurse from 1945 who is mysteriously swept back in time to 1743, where she is immediately thrown into an unknown world where her life is threatened. When she is forced to marry Jamie Fraser, a chivalrous and romantic young Scottish warrior, a passionate relationship is ignited that tears Claire’s heart between two vastly different men in two irreconcilable lives.

I have been aware of the Outlander series of books for a while now and to be honest, was not interested in reading them. A few months ago I started seeing ads on TV but I have never really watched anything on Starz (did I even get the channel). Well about a week ago my friend Heidi A. suggested I take a look at the first episode that they were showing for free. I had the time and thought what the heck, I would give it a try. Well, turns out that I do get Starz and I was hooked! It is a pretty good show. Now, I have heard from two people who have read the first book (which the first series is based on) that the show is better than the book. When does that ever happen?! Have any of you read the books? Are you watching the show? What do you think?

Pro’s- The setting is beautiful. The accents are beautiful. The story is very interesting, not to hooky yet. Strong female character, I like Claire. She is tough and stand up for herself. I do wonder if she is a little to strong since she is not from 2014 but from 1945 when woman still were expected to act a certain way. There are some very nice looking men, Jaime, one of the male leads is nice to watch.

Con’s- The accents are hard to understand. For some reason I think if I turn the volume up louder, it will help but it doesn’t. My friend Heidi watches some of the shows over again to try to catch things she missed the first time around. In fact she thought one of the leads accent was a bit over the top only to learn he really is from Scotland. There are some really ugly, dirty, bad teeth looking people in the show. It was a dirty, smelly time. The last episode was 1/2 in Gaelic. That was hard because I don’t speak that. What the hell is going on?

The show airs on Saturday but if you have the On Demand feature (OMG, I love it! I know kinda late to the game) you can catch up pretty quickly. That is what I did after watching the first show. Heidi and I think they are going to air two more shows and then take a break and play the rest in 2015. I hate when they split the season up like that. I am hooked, you don’t need to try to hook me! Just make more shows!

Whatcha Reading?

I am reading three books right now. A Year Without Sugar, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk and The King’s Curse. As I have shared before I also listen to audio books via Audible.com. I haven’t been listening to anything for awhile and have 5 credits and a $10 coupon to use. My Man and I are big Agatha Christie fans, we watch all the shows on PBS when they come on. Years ago I read all of her Miss Marple books and have decided that I will listen/read all of her Hercule Poirot books. The first one is The Mysterious Affair at Styles.

Plans for the weekend Readers? None here and I am good with that. Well, maybe some cleaning. I would love to go through out glasses, coffee cups, mugs, wine glasses and clean it up some. The cabinet is full!! I hope whatever it is you end up doing you have fun!

RTR! GO SPARTY! RISE UP!

 

Oh Boy, The Boy…

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Monday Morning

Monday Morning

Readers! How are you? How was your weekend? Did you have good weather? Get a lot of chores done, watch Football? Oh’ com on, who didn’t watch football! Rise Up ATL! That game had My Man and I out of our chairs. I could stop moving I was freaking out so much. It was a crazy good game.

I had another good day yesterday until I got a call from The Boys teacher. Turns out The Boy hasn’t been doing everything he was supposed to be doing and a lot of what he isn’t supposed to be doing. One being not treating his teacher the way he should be. This is a big deal to me. Respect to adults, to everyone, is very important and stressed here at Hotel Yorba. Then there is a binder that should have been coming home full of all of his work and study materials for the past two weeks that has yet to show up. Even after being told five times by his teacher to bring it home, it sat on his desk last night.

The Boys life will be radically changing here at home. Electronics, TV, Video games all gone. A lot more reading and studying. Speaking of studying, how does one teach you child to study? How do you teach them to want to study? He is having a test on Native Americans today that we have been reviewing for the past few days. Does he know it? He got an A on the quiz but a C on class work. He also has a spelling test on Friday. It would be nice to have the words to study but those have been “lost”. To say I am frustrated with The Boy would be an understatement. However, know what is causing 90% of issues and that is me and my illness. I can’t tell you how many times a day he asks how I am feeling. Or last night how many times he told me I was so pretty even though I had to shave the rest of the fuzz off of my head.

If some of you have older children, any advice? I am going to e-mail the school councilor (might as well have my tax dollars be put to work) and see if he can start meeting with her. Maybe he will talk to her about what is going on and how he is feeling. Sometimes you just need a 3rd party to speak with.

Round 2 Part 2

Mom

Mom

My Mom and Dad came into town so that my Mom could come to my treatment with me today. It was a long day. There were issues with my port, the computers were down, the pump wasn’t working and the tubbing didn’t fit. I didn’t sleep all that great night before so I was and still am pretty tired. I tired to sleep but it is hard when you are woken up every 15 min to have my vitals taken. Sucks! But other than that that my numbers looked pretty good. There was woman next to me who numbers did not look good and had to be checked into the hospital! Pickles. The poor thing. She looked ok tome but I guess that is why there is no DR. in front of my name.

I am hoping you are all having a good day. I hope The Boy comes home with his binder and a good report. Let’s hope we can get him on the right track. Be Good! Be Kind!